Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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