I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize