'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
