3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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