So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
