I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
