yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
