yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
