I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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