when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize