I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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