You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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