508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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