Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
