Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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