Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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