I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Floor bacon is actually really good
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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