you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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