im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
