I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
