Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
