I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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