So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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