So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
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I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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