I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
