I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
