I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
