Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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