I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
NoShamevember. You game?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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