party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
