dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize