The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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