So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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