its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
