He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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