New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize