jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
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