Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize