I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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