Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
