@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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