ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
