Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
