What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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