she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting married
To pizza
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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