I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
