he told me I talked like a deaf person
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
