yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
