don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
