There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
