Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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