ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
