I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
