I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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