If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
my shit smells like andre
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
