my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
She announced her abortion via fbk
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
